It’s the eve of my 28th birthday.
For some unknown reason, when I was younger, I always pictured myself at this age on the balcony of my apartment overlooking the ocean in California, a glass of wine in hand contemplating my successful career. Think Gabrielle Union’s character in any movie she stars in.
Instead, I find myself on the balcony of my apartment in a university dormitory in Japan. Okay, I am not at the balcony at this very moment but I plan to go there to take in the fresh spring air after I hit publish on this post. It’s 8:40pm and I’m listening to my son singing himself to sleep. He turned 3 years old about 3 weeks ago. He’s incredibly smart and I’m not just saying that because I am his mother. He is also incredibly handsome, incredibly talented, incredibly kind and loving, and can raise incredible hell when he wants his way. When I am done with this post, I shall probably have some time to think about Prince who died today at the tender age of 57. If you don’t think 57 is young, he could have had 3 more decades, like The Queen who just turned 90.
So what have I been up to since I last blogged almost 2 months ago? Or since my last taking stock post a year ago?
Making : Plans for a picnic with friends from campus by the riverside tomorrow. Because of seasonal changes in Japan, good weather (warm and outdoor friendly) doesn’t last that long so it’s kind of a big deal when winter clears, spring comes and we can finally have outdoor activities like barbecues, picnics, whatever..
Cooking : Githeri. No, it doesn’t taste the same as I am using sweet baby corn rather than our usual Kenyan white maize. The taste might not be the same but it’s still delicious.
A glass of the cheapest wine (2014 Vintage, LOL) I could buy at Costco. It’s terrible. I couldn’t even afford the 2nd cheapest wine!
The second book in the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini, Eldest. It’s a tale of a boy, a dragon, magic, elves, dwarfs, shades, oguls.. you know, fantasy. Don’t ask me where I get the time to read, between taking care of Jeremy, keeping my apartment habitable, doing my PhD and other part-time work in the university.
What do I want? Of course I want many things, like a car whose brakes don’t make a hissing sound when I step on them. But these days I am happy with just what I have and with just who I am.
Looking: At the picture below and how it represents my crisis point at this moment. Why am I even doing a PhD when all I’m doing is reducing my chances of employment? My career choices just got narrowed down to academia and industry research.
My time in the evenings watching Sex and the City. The show was banned in our home back then because of the sex scenes. I can’t really relate with the characters but I’m enjoying it nonetheless.
Sewing: sewing? Sure, I do have a sewing kit but I’m waiting for the loose button on Jeremy’s shirt to first fall off before I fortify it.
Wishing: there was a magic word to put children to sleep at bedtime. If you think you can just let kids play around until they are too tired and fall asleep, you’re wrong. The longer they stay awake, the more wired up they get, the harder it is for them to fall asleep and the worse the quality of sleep they’ll get. Then they’ll suffer bad moods the following day.
Enjoying: Tortilla chips + ketchup. It’s a Friday night, and it’s the eve of my 28th birthday. I can do/eat whatever I want.
Waiting: eagerly for July. If all goes well, Jeremy and I should make our first international conference appearance in Toronto, Canada.
Liking: the 45 minutes of exercise that I manage to squeeze into my schedule from time to time. I’ve however reduced from 5 times a week to barely once a week; but I am trying to up it up to at least 3 times a week.
Wondering: what’s the role of God in the 21st century? To those who believe in a God or gods, how/why?
Loving: the “moments” I have with J. Like we’d be singing in the shower (nursery rhymes, what else) and I forget the lyrics but then he reminds me. “Say goodbye, mummy, say goodbye!”. Or when reminds me to wear my jacket when we’re leaving the house. Or tells me to make sure I turn left so we can go home when I pick him up. Or when he follows me to the toilet like how dare I make a visit to the toilet and not invite him?
To get shortlisted in some kind of competition I am participating in so I can get a free trip to Tokyo. A trip away is always a good break.
At just how far Jeremy and I have come. I think we sometimes need to take a break from our daily routine just to look back and just see how much we have achieved. When you have big goals, like I do, you can sometimes feel like you’ve done nothing so far. But even staying alive thus far, is something worth appreciating yourself for. *sips wine. dips a chip in sauce. fuck the calories.*
Needing: a plan to include studying Japanese into my schedule. I refuse to be one of those people who spend decades in Japan and yet can’t speak the language. So far, I have to wake up at 5:30am in order to study for an hour before starting my day. I am still amassing the willpower.
Smelling: his scarf. He forgot it here the other day. This is probably insane behaviour.
Wearing: Clothes with little thought to fashion. I always thought I would be better at this fashion thing when I got older or when I got money but I would rather spend any spare cash I get on books. When I’m famous I’m gonna need a full-time fashion staff.
Following: in the footsteps of many who have gone before us. We may think we are unique but we really aren’t. Not so much anyway.
Noticing: That finally, I’m 1Kg away from my ideal weight according to the BMI calculation. But it’s really an outdated method of calculation that doesn’t take into consideration African curves 😉
Knowing: that life is fleeting. It’s hard to accept that there will be a time when I will not be here anymore. That the people I know, the people in my life, won’t always be here forever.
Thinking: that I’ve spent far too much time writing this post. Cheap(est) bottle of wine is nearly empty!
Feeling: awesome. I’m 1 hour or so away from 28 and I feel awesome.
Bookmarking: sammydress.com. I like to look at the clothes even when I’m not buying.
Opening: my mind up to new, un-imagined possibilities.
Giggling: I don’t think I giggle. LOLing (Laughing out loud), yes. Giggling, no.
Happy birthday to me. It seems like it was just the other day that I was an 8 year old little girl. Time flies. RIP to all my friends who never made it to 28.